20-year-old Sofija on life between three countries: “When I’m in Lithuania, I have no doubt that I’m Lithuanian”

“Whenever people ask where I’m from, it tends to lead to some rather interesting conversations,” says 20-year-old Sofija Kaniauskaitė. The short answer, she explains, is that she is Lithuanian. The fuller version is more complex: she moved from Lithuania to Northern Ireland at the age of five, spent most of her life there, and now lives and studies in Croatia.

This summer, however, Sofija decided to return to the country where, as she puts it, she has always felt most deeply rooted. While spending several months in Kaunas and completing an internship at Kaunas University of Technology (KTU), she not only gained professional experience but also did something she had never done before: lived independently in Lithuania.

Keeping Lithuanian Traditions Alive Abroad

Having spent most of her childhood and teenage years in Northern Ireland, Sofija naturally became part of the local culture. Lithuanian culture, however, remained a constant in her life: her family spoke Lithuanian at home, listened to Lithuanian music, and lived close to other families who had also relocated from Lithuania.

Lithuanian food was usually served at home, while Christmas and Easter were celebrated with traditional dishes. Outside the home, Sofija’s life was more closely connected to Northern Irish culture – she celebrated Halloween, Valentine’s Day and local holidays with her friends.

“There was quite a clear divide between the culture at home and the culture outside it, and I was part of both. At times, balancing these two worlds was not easy, because whenever I made decisions, I had to take two different cultures into account. I think it was difficult for my mum too, as she worked hard to make sure Lithuanian culture remained part of my life. I’m grateful to her for that now, although as a child I was more eager to fit into Northern Irish culture,” Sofija recalls.

According to her, people in Northern Ireland were welcoming and friendly, although cultural differences sometimes made her feel like an outsider in her own surroundings. Friendships with both locals and people from other cultural backgrounds helped her overcome this feeling.

“Northern Ireland is very diverse, so living there taught me to be more open-minded. Growing up among people from different backgrounds taught me to understand and accept others, and that has become an important part of how I see the world,” she says.

Love Brought Her to Croatia

Although Sofija spent most of her life in Northern Ireland, when it was time to begin university, she chose Croatia. She is currently studying Digital Marketing in Zagreb, and her decision to move there was motivated by more than her studies.

“It’s actually quite a funny story. I moved to Croatia because my boyfriend Filip lives here – I wanted us to be together while continuing my studies. We have been together for almost six years: before I started university, we spent four years in a long-distance relationship, and for the past two years we have been living together in Croatia,” Sofija explains.

Living in Zagreb inevitably led her to compare the three countries she knows well. According to Sofija, although Lithuania and Croatia may appear relatively similar by many statistical measures, cultural differences are much more noticeable in everyday life. One of the most striking is the way people interact.

“Most people are probably familiar with the idea that Southern Europeans tend to be warmer and more open, while Northern Europeans are more reserved and prefer to keep their distance. When comparing Croatia and Lithuania, there is some truth to that stereotype, but it is neither good nor bad – the cultures are simply different.

As someone who values personal space, I feel comfortable with Lithuanian culture. Lithuanians can sometimes come across as cold, but you generally know where you stand with them. People in Croatia are very warm, although this does not always feel genuine to me. Still, both Croatians and Lithuanians are always willing to help someone in need,” she observes.

Sofija also noticed differences in her surroundings. Having grown up in a small town in Northern Ireland, which she remembers as peaceful, she was surprised by the noise and fast pace of Zagreb, a city of around 800,000 people. She also misses the greenery and sense of order she associates with Lithuania.

“When I come back to Lithuania, I appreciate the orderly traffic, quiet streets and greenery all around me. Lithuania, to me, is first and foremost about family and nature – enjoying what surrounds you and appreciating what you have. Croatia, meanwhile, has taught me not only to overcome challenges and try new things, but also to relax more. I used to rush everywhere without taking the time to stop and reflect on what was happening around me,” says Sofija.

Wanted to Experience Independent Life in Lithuania

Sofija could have looked for professional experience elsewhere, but her decision to return to her home country was a conscious one – she was interested not only in work, but also in having the opportunity to spend more time with her relatives in Lithuania.

“There is a lot of uncertainty about my future, and I realise that the time I can spend with my family in Lithuania is limited. I also wanted to immerse myself more deeply in Lithuanian culture. Although I speak Lithuanian fluently, I’m not always confident in my language skills, so I wanted to prove to myself that I could live here independently,” she explains.

“I wanted to help other students facing difficulties similar to those I have experienced myself. The internship also gave me an opportunity to experience workplace culture in Lithuania first-hand and better understand whether I would like to live and work here in the future. I have been considering the possibility of returning to Lithuania permanently for some time, so this experience allows me to look at that potential future more realistically,” says Sofija.

International Experience Helps Her Understand Students

During her internship at KTU, Sofija mainly works with international students. Together with another intern, she manages an email inbox, answers questions about applying to KTU and helps resolve any issues that arise.

“What I enjoy most about this work is the opportunity to communicate with people and help them directly. At the beginning of my internship, I interviewed students online, and during Welcome Week I helped with an event – welcoming and coordinating arriving students and helping to make sure everything ran smoothly,” Sofija says.

“At the moment, most of my friends are not locals but students who have come from different countries. I think it’s a wonderful experience – meeting and communicating with different people helps me become more open to new connections,” she says.

Sofija also speaks positively about the working environment at the University. She says professionalism is combined with a relaxed and friendly atmosphere, meaning she feels comfortable and does not feel anxious about coming to her internship.

Speaking Lithuanian Made Her Feel at Home

The months Sofija spent in Lithuania became not only a professional but also a personal experience. For years, she had only stayed in the country during short summer holidays, but this time she was able to experience a very different kind of everyday life – living independently, working and being constantly surrounded by the Lithuanian language and culture. According to Sofija, this strengthened her sense of belonging in Lithuania.

“Being able to speak my native language every day helped me feel more Lithuanian – when I’m here, I have absolutely no doubt that I am Lithuanian. I have also noticed that Lithuanians are very logical, direct and value clarity, particularly when it comes to how things should be done properly. Growing up, I was often told that I was like that too, so it feels special to recognise these similarities between myself and other Lithuanians, even though I haven’t lived in Lithuania for a long time,” she says.

As the end of her internship approaches, the thought of returning to Croatia brings mixed feelings. Although her studies and usual life are waiting for her there, leaving Lithuania after several months is not quite so easy.

“Part of me is even afraid of the internship ending, because when I return to Croatia, I might feel as though I’m losing a part of myself – I won’t have the opportunity to speak my native language this often. Still, I try to look at it positively and accept that nothing lasts forever. I’m very grateful that I had the chance to experience life in Lithuania first-hand. Here, I got to know not only the country but also myself better, and I’ll take those lessons with me when I return to Croatia,” says Sofija.

Found a Sense of Calm in Kaunas

Before coming to Kaunas, Sofija knew little about the city. She did not have particularly high expectations either – she had only heard Lithuanians say that there was not much to do in Kaunas. A few months in the city, however, changed that impression.

“What I appreciate most about Kaunas is its calm atmosphere and nature, but calm certainly does not mean boring. The city is lively and there is plenty to do – you just have to look for it. What I like most is this combination: you can feel the rhythm of the city while still being able to escape into nature, relax and slow down for a while,” Sofija says.

Over the course of several months, Kaunas became more than just a temporary place for her internship. Sofija says the experiences she has had here allowed her to develop a close connection with the city, one she hopes will remain important to her in the future. Living in Kaunas has also strengthened her desire to return to Lithuania one day – whether to study, work or live.

“I have one final year of my Bachelor’s degree left in Croatia, and afterwards I plan to pursue a Master’s degree, although I haven’t yet decided where I will continue my studies. For now, I want to keep all my options open. I enjoy living in both Croatia and Lithuania, so ideally I would like both countries to be part of my life,” she says.

For now, Sofija is in no hurry to decide which country she would like to settle in long-term. She sees living in different countries as a privilege and an opportunity to gain valuable experiences, and does not rule out the possibility that other countries may become part of her life in the future.

“I would like to continue having experiences like these in the future – perhaps not only in Lithuania or Croatia, but in other countries too. My future is still very uncertain, so time will tell where this journey eventually takes me,” Sofija concludes.